Lavenderystic Realm

Resent Me? Please Don't

2011-04-04T03:46:00.000+05:00

Back then you caught me off guard
Silly games of a feeling unknown
Played well till time allowed me to
Moved on with different paths

Four years later you wanted to see me
Just a kiss to make it real
Would be a lie if I did act so
So I decided to come clean

Your reaction of hurt and betrayal
As if I played you for a toy
Wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings
My honesty against my intuition won

Was mutual then not now
You like me still thou
Yet I'm confused
My deed of good for our sake
Is not to meet you half way!

Lost Love...

2011-03-15T22:45:00.002+05:00

My darling, should I just call you that?
Although it may sound odd
Sweetheart suits you better
How does it feel when I kiss you?
In the dark of the moon
Amidst the stars and the balmy eve'
Romance lingers in the air...
And I'll hold onto your memory....forever!

Foolish Beat

2011-03-11T01:30:00.005+05:00

These legs have walked towards such peril

that words cannot begin to describe
how foolish I feel now for the sinful acts

These legs have walked upon so many thorns
the trail of blood seem endless
Regret? A feeling surrounding me as of late...

These legs have walked through forbidden territories
the hope of coming back hurts the thought itself
Wisdom didn't come by sooner

So, for now...I Stop and stay still
looking around me, letting it sink in
and I fall...
cos I've failed!

I'm letting go...

2010-11-12T05:07:00.007+05:00

What have I been doing? Please forgive me!
Been ignoring you lately, neglecting you each and everyday
by any means suppressing your thoughts.
Its not that I don't remember you
not that I don't think about you

I just couldn't bring myself to embrace you
cos its been so long
I've forgotten how much you ease my pain
How you held my hand through all the hard times
and shared my happiness

You reach for me everyday and I walk away not thinking twice
You never left my side, always in a blinks reach
though I acted blind.
I left you somewhere and forgot my way back to you
Its been so long but I took a step
with my eyes closed, heavyhearted

How did I ever think I could live without you,
We are one, you and I, that's for sure
How I missed you so, Oh how I missed you so
I was reluctant to see you, to be near you
almost tore me apart, all those emotions
that I've been holding back came slowly
my face shook and my heart cried

I dared not look away, the past flashed in front of me
I went down on my knees and embraced you tightly
I found you finally, feels so good to be with you again
don't let me go that far again
I accept that I craved for you though I didn't try harder
even if it killed me inside

Now I know how it feels like to live without you,
I don't want to be that empty anymore or ever
You'll be with me always, its natural
I wont be ashamed cos you're a part of me
in making me who I am today
I thank God for you
you are my closest friend, my savior, my healer

Yes, believe it my dearest
I don't want to hold back anymore...
I'm letting my guard down after all this time
I'm letting go...to be with you

2009-09-23T00:23:00.004+05:00

Been searching for your name elsewhere
the stars don't seem to help me anyway
they just keep disappearing from my vision
blurry, for my eyes are sinking deep

In a pool of tears, I breathe
floating above your memories
carrying me towards hope
A land built above fantasies

Caught a glimpse of you the other day
In a memory so far away
I sacrificed my time with you
To watch you drift away...

Sigh...the moon nor sun
would smile upon me again
for I'm forsaken
and deprived of love

2009-09-04T00:34:00.005+05:00

Devour me whole,
O' Serpent king
Play these broken chords
for they mean nothing

Emotionless eyes,
Lips sewed with endless woes
Hands burnt with treacherous words
Head hung low of shame and hurt

With a broken wing
and a bleeding heart
Empty to the core
love shall kill me with thirst...

One can dream...

2009-08-29T14:59:00.006+05:00

Drunk on your love

High on emotion
I tread down a path
Of rose petals and feathers

The gibbous moon smiled at me
A dazzling star or two abide
Butterflies in my tummy
O' how I blushed:)

On his knees with a rare black rose
An endless love he promised me with all
Time stood still and with a jolt
I woke up to know,

T'was a sweet dream itself...

got tired searching for a decent picture to go with this poem...sigh...to no avail...

2009-08-14T22:34:00.010+05:00

I was moving so fast
I stared back blurry eyed
The lights flickered by
and my heart felt heavy

Struggling to keep my sanity
and the mask of make-believe
I looked ahead...
The wind stung my face

That's as far as I got,
when reality took me back
Back to the same old life,
another day in paradise?

Enchanted Heartbreak

2009-08-04T22:40:00.008+05:00

For a moment
I lost myself in a mist
The constant beat ceased
my heart was bleeding

There was no need to breathe
for my lungs were filled with a song
So sweet it felt warm and tender
Am I alive?

As if Time froze itself
I felt stuck in a haze
then and there
I let my guard down

With just one glance,
I shattered into countless pieces
My lips went dry and
I quivered waking to reality...

such was the beauty
of my crestfallen, broken heart...

Melancholific thoughts

2009-08-02T12:37:00.003+05:00

Pen to paper

The ink smoothly flowed
A line or two formed
but it didn't accord
Sound of paper being torn
Crumpled and thrown
Back to the drawing board
With the pen to paper

2009-08-02T12:10:00.003+05:00

The green sky dotted with burning specs
of stars and galaxies far far away,
A bark of tree floated by
on a sea of emptiness
with a raging skull...
whose eyes seemed ghastly black
Alas the sky cleared from the ghostly cu's
behold, thy cheesy moon ...

2009-07-16T07:46:00.003+05:00

Come to me,

be in my arms.

I will hold you till you want

I will keep you till you go

Nothing is impossible

I will fight back
Knowing you're my life

I wish for us;

hand in hand

to survive the sands of time

You came into my life,
like a prince on horse back

Rescued me from my misery,

To a land of endless love

If ever we are to part

Know that forever

you'll be in my heart

beating constantly

Forever and for always

written almost 2 year's ago but couldn't post if for God knows what reason!

A Random Heartbeat..

2009-07-15T12:11:00.010+05:00

I'm not afraid to say that I'm scared
But not of you,

I'm naive enough to say that I'm crazy
But not about you,

I'm not ashamed to say that I regret
But not for loving you,

I'm sad enough to cry these tears
But not for you,

But I'm proud to say that I'm glad
to have met you in my life...

Now don't call me stupid
since you miss me too:)

Forgotten Betrayal

2009-06-28T02:10:00.007+05:00

I lie down and close my eyes
Thoughts of you wash over me
'
Sleep is a mile away

How could you do this to me?
Are you even aware of what I'm going through?
Rage builds up inside me;
Do you even feel the same?

Time passes in silence
Over and over again

Barely keeping up with life
Roaming aimlessly
Everything will end somehow
And I cant be bothered anymore
Truth will set me free
Hate is a word which shall tear me apart
Eventually...

Snuff

2009-01-01T00:31:00.004+05:00

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence
And leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage
For what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I cant destroy what isn't there
Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart...When you refused to fight

So save your breath I will not hear
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a Saint
My own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I wont listen to your shame
You ran away you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don't ever let me know

If you still care, don't ever let me know...

Snuff - Slipknot

Dedicated to Mauve

2008-11-04T11:33:00.003+05:00

Nine precious months
that you spent inside me
how could i forget
the sweet memories

lost in thought on how you are
worried myself
if you are not moving much
smiling with tears
whenever you are active

Singing you lullabies
and nursery rhymes,
describing people, places
and things around me

the day you came to this world
will be cherished forever
your cry filled my heart
and I thanked God

I prayed for your health
and so was i blessed
with ten tiny toes
and ten lil fingers
cute big eyes
and rose bud cheeks

now here in my arms
sleeping in peace
my pride and joy
you'll always be

you can never stop
to amuse me,
while awake
or even in your sleep

I'll love you always
unconditionally...

Bleached

2008-10-26T00:13:00.008+05:00

A single flower petal brushes against my skin
I don't want to believe
our romance was a mistake

We've got a bad, bad habit of saying "everything's fine" and bottling it up.
I always thought about how I wanted to be with you forever,
but we don't see eye to eye

I assumed I could always make you smile
in that soft, gentle way of yours
like when we first met
I want to hold you...

I thought I loved you.
I wanted to hear your voice more and more.
And while my hand still reaches yours
I can't see what your future holds.

Translation of Bleach's ending song Hitohira no Hanabira =)

No air

2008-04-24T16:35:00.007+05:00

Tell me how I'm suppose to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake,
Its cause you took my breath away.
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

I'm here, alone, didn't want to leave.
My heart won't move, it's incomplete.
Wish there was a way
That I can make you to understand,

But how do you expect me,
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you,
Its so hard for me to breathe.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air.
Can't live, can't breathe with no air.
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.
There's No Air No Air.

Got me out here in the water so deep.
Tell me how you gonna be without me.
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe.
Its No Air No Air. No air ...

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew,
Right off the ground to float to you.
There's no gravity to hold me down, For real.

But somehow I'm still alive inside.
You took my breath, but I survived.
I don't know how, but I don't even care.

So how do you expect me,
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you,
Its so hard for me to breathe.

Tell Me How I'm supposed to breathe with no air.
Can't live can't breathe with no air.
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.
Its No Air No Air.

Got me out here in the water so deep.
Tell me how you gonna be without me.
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
There's No Air No Air

Its No Air No Air....

*Been a fan of Jordin since the beginning. Cant seem to sing anything else these days...

Sinned...

2008-02-09T16:53:00.006+05:00

Fragments of the past flashing back and forth

Moments held in time on a silver thread
Reality a glance away;I look through the haze.
With a glimmer of hope I set towards forbidden territories...

Have I sinned? or did I set my heart free?
No one knows but the Almighty.

Knee deep in vain I wage across the sea of pain.
With waves of agony lashing at my body,
I welcomed the wind with open arms
to be swept away..

...faraway from dreams unsure
how long will I survive,
will I make it....

Dark and gloomy the world may seem,
but your thoughts will guide me through
Unless they fade to nothing...
Is this how it all ends...
Forgive me, for I have loved.

love bound...

2007-12-16T18:50:00.000+05:00

Bound by the heart...
constant agony,
ripples of emotion
surge unwillingly

No one cares,
No one seems to notice
Veiled with silence
feared to be visualized

The path ahead
so hard to resist.
Feelings unsure
lead the way

Gloomy clouds
hovered above
trickles of rain
embraced the tears

Alas, the heart bound with love
never came back
swallowed in forever darkness
of black and red...

Fleeting thoughts...

2007-10-09T11:45:00.000+05:00

Fleeting thoughts raging through my mind,
Those forbidden words;unspoken
Could this be goodbye?

Tears unshed well up my sorrowful eyes,
The years of uneasiness overwhelm me.
I had pictured us together forever.
Now all that remains is a half winged frame,

All that was felt dyed in black and white.
The timeless love had taken its toll,
And the glass shattered into countless pieces.
What good is a heart without a reason to beat?

Life was hard to bare with you,
And the wonder of letting go...
Is a fleeting thought itself....

Remember...

2007-08-20T01:28:00.000+05:00

that your life can be what you want it to be.

to take the days just one at a time

to count your blessings, not your troubles.

that you'll make it through whatever comes along.

that most of the answers you need are within you.

those dreams waiting to be realised.

that decisions are too important to leave to chance.

to always reach for the best within you.

that nothing wastes more energy than worry.

that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.

not to take things too seriously

to laugh

that a little love goes a long way.

that a lot goes forever.

that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.

that life's treasures are people, not things.

to cleanse your heart at the end of each day

Hope of an Angel

2007-08-18T05:48:00.000+05:00

But look around you,

what do you see?

It's just a mirage!

For the true picture is hidden,

behind the cold and dark mist

filled with sorrowful tears

Walk ahead and make your way,

through the haziness infront of you.

Soar above the clouds in grace.

Youre a free spirit,

feelings lost in an endless sea;

sinking without faith.

But you realise it now,

things are not what they seem.

Let your fear go

and embrace the light

behold an angel in glory;

a soul in delight.

Walk of Life...

2007-06-25T01:13:00.000+05:00

As I walk alone

Through the mystery of life
I felt eyes follow my every step
Heard voices that tried to guide me

Though no one would accompany me,
In the dire times that I needed a hand
To help me through it all
I never felt like giving up

I walked alone in anguish
In silence and in thought
With tears streaking down my face
Observing everyone around me
Learning and cherishing

And somewhere along the winding road
Dreams started to colour my path
Hope filled my empty heart
Faith lifted my spirit up

With all these friends beside me
I held them close to me,
Never letting them out of my sight
And I don't walk alone anymore...

My Thoughts...

2007-06-24T02:21:00.000+05:00

Where are my thoughts?
Lost somewhere...
With a jolt I realise
I have misplaced them

Who can help me find them?
Where did I leave them?
Surely I kept them safe,
Hidden from all the eyes

I can't ask for help,
They might take them away
Far away into another galaxy
But there must be a way....

Oh I'm panicking now,
Wish they would come back
Find there way back to me
I miss them so...

Bill Gates- After Death

2007-06-10T13:24:00.000+05:00

"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before.

I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.

The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect! Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!" To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went.

Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell.

Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision. "God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair. "This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"

Just a joke that I thought was funny...hope you all like it..cheers

Missing You...

2007-06-09T05:36:00.000+05:00

To miss you is to love you
I could barely make it through the day
My heart seeks your affection
Each moment passes by so slow

Stranded in a moment
Together in a heart beat
Although we are apart
Nothing matters
Do you miss me too?
Silence accompanies me

Still it feels like yesterday
The nights so lonely
Including the days
Lost in your thoughts
Losing my sanity

Congratulations Jordin!!!

2007-05-24T18:06:00.000+05:00

This blog is a tribute to the youngest ever American Idol Jordin Sparks....going for it girl!!!
I saw your audition and I had a feeling that you would be going for the finals...you got all it takes
and you've proven that nothing is impossible...
Even last nights 3rd performance was amazing...I was in tears myself...
Once again, Congratulations...keep sparkling:)

How do I love thee...

2007-05-21T13:45:00.000+05:00

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,...I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!...and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."

by Elizabeth Barreth Browning (1806-1861)

This is a poem I really admire...

dedicated to the one I love...

A colourful wish...

2007-05-19T02:34:00.000+05:00

In the blink of an eye

time passes by

In our lifetime,

we come across paths

some treacherous

and some easy.

While wandering about

I met you

And I thought

Would you be there till the end?

We became friends

and we are still

We had our fights

and we shared our laughs

Cried together and

seen it through

And there's nothing better

that I could do today

Than to wish you

Happy Birth Day

This is your day

Enjoy it the most you can

And this is my wish for you

as colourful as you are..

May the sun smile on you during the day

May the moon guide you through the darkest nights

and the stars shine throughout your life

With loads of love and huggies

plus a tint of laugh...

to my deer Kampi

Alone...

2007-05-17T03:37:00.000+05:00

Your fragile, folded wings
are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone
It's okay to smile...for yourself.

That lonely feeling keeps creeping upon me
A single candle burns still inside.
There shoud'nt be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this.
Can I really bury it all with empty words?
I don't even know anymore...

As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
We won't need that sky anymore.
Even if you can't let go of the past
I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow.

Your fragile, folded wings

are just tired from the pure blue sky.

You don't have to force your smiles for anyone

It's okay to smile...for yourself.

Hearing your sweet voice didn't always hurt.
It's too late to block it from the inside.
I want to take back our time,
but luck and karma are against me.

There are no words, but your eyes can't hide what you want to say.
I don't even know anymore...

Try to bury it deep down
We don't need that sky if we're free to swim.
Even if you won't talk about yesterday,
I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow.

Translation of the 6th opening song of Bleach

Alones - Performed by Aqua Timez

*** The song rocks:) ***

A Wish...

2007-05-13T07:50:00.000+05:00

We've been sisters

since I can remember

We fought over lil things

and laughed over nothing

You have always been there for me

And I appreciate it

from the bottom of my heart

You've showered me with love

And showed me the right way

I celebrate your birthday today.
But having someone who is fun loving

and as thoughtful as you in my life

gives me reason to celebrate everyday

I'm wishing you happiness

And hoping all your dreams come true.

Happy B' Day Dhonnee

With loads of Love and Laughs

Grace Kelly

2007-05-13T05:31:00.000+05:00

I want to talk to you!
The last time we talked Mr. Smith you reduced me to tears
But I promise it won't happen again!

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

Getting angry does'nt solve anything

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why don't you like me
Why don't you like me
Why don't you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

Humphry, we're leaving...
Ca ching...

Performed by: Mika

Gracefully dedicated to S and S

I'll stand by you...

2007-05-10T01:00:00.000+05:00

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
I won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
I won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own,
I'll stand by you.
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you. ooooh, I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you.

This song goes out to my sis Joo on her B'day...

Happy B' Day Joooooooo!!!

Hope you have a wonderfilled day...May Allah bless you *:)

Hero

2007-05-06T20:43:00.001+05:00

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold

You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away

Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

Performed by Mariah Carey

Dedicated to Suhan...

Wind beneath my wings

2007-05-05T18:16:00.000+05:00

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way,
you always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name...for so long,
a beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
you're everything I wish I could be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

You're everything everything i wish i could be.

Oh and I

I can fly higher than an eagle

'cause you're the wind beneath my wings

oh the wind beneath my wings

Fly, fly, fly away
you let me fly so high.

Oh you, you're the wind beneath my wings

Fly, fly
so high against the sky, so high I almost touched the sky.

Thank you, thank you, thank God for you,
the wind beneath my wings.

Performed by Bette Midler

OST: Beaches

Dedicated to Suhan

For my Suhan

2007-05-04T14:07:00.000+05:00

The most excellent present for an extra special sis on her very special day...

I don't remember the exact date or time when we first met.
Just fragments of images are in my mind
Through pictures taken during those good ol' days.

Being the same age and in the same premises
We got to share primary school,
Though we didn't get to be in the same class
Except for one year only.

We started to get to know each other.
After school we would end up at scoop with an ice corn
No wonder our baby fats didn't burn.

As we grew up so did our friendship grow
By this time I knew for sure you were my best friend.
The only person who would be trustworthy for life,
The one person to whom I could lay out my heart's contents without thinking twice.
You were there for me through think and thin, through rain or shine.

Our lives had differences
It didn't interfere our friendship
We had hard times
which were overcame through
confiding in each other

Studies weren't a hardship
We did our home work over the phone
With some songs in between
Followed by laughter and giggles

Unfortunately we didn't get to finish our school at the same year
But we still remained the same.
I remember one day when we out roaming the roads the Male'
Just being obnoxious and free, we met a class mate and she asked you,
"You two still friends!!!"...and I thought why would she say that?
But I was happy atleast someone noticed that we were still friends...

When I started work you were studying in Lanka,
Oh those larger than life letters
I still have one which I was unable to send. Miscuzi...
And the bindhalaa Habaru tapes...
We create such a brilliant team don't we...
Me, you, Dhonee,Tess, Amy,Kaushar...and our dreams...

While you were still in Bangalore,
I moved and our Quartet had some gaps in between our meetings.
Do you still remember our first meeting?
With the music volume enough to blow the neighbourhood into oblivion
And the guys...with the guitar on the roof and fake camera's..
The stories we wrote and the songs we sang
Just being with you was what it mattered

Time moved forward so did we,
We both followed our own dreams.
Though we were miles apart
Distance didn't matter
Our way of communication is above all
From posted letters to audio tapes
Emails, voice mails and house calls
Anyway works

The most important bond
That we have always shared
Is our gut feeling for each other
No matter where or when

As we grew up
We met different people
But I have never met
Anyone like you

The memory of our First Fight
I can still remember how I cried
Through tears and laughter
For the reason was silly enough

Now you're in SQ
Wishing I was there
Just think of the songs we sang
Or the endless hours we spend
Talking about nothing and everything
Even with a 3 hour difference
Be it day or night

We have so much in common
And yet we are unique in our own ways,
Probably since we are related
But I'm sure we would have been great friends
Even if we were not related...

You were there when I needed you most
When I needed a shoulder to cry on
May it be from laughter of grief
You helped me walk through life
While stumbling and falling
Showed me what friendship meant
Even in the darkest of hours

Even if I find myself
Living a lie
You have shown me
The right path
The fact that you never gave up on me
I have it embeded in my heart

You are my idol
And I look up to you
Am not saying you're perfect
Who is?
Even with flaws
You're still my Suhan

With a smile on your face
Kindness in youre heart
Forever giving
And not asking in return

Don't ever feel lonely
Always know you're loved
and cared for
I am always there for you
And always will be
God knows when I would leave this world
But I promise you
I'll be with you in Heaven

So many memories
And so much to write
I'm sure this page won't do justice
For you and I have made it through
Since I can remember

I am so proud to have you as a sis
And I'm glad you're my best friend
I'll forever be thankful
For you to have been by my side
Through my entire life

Once more Happy B'day Suhan
May Allah bless you always

Friends...

2007-05-02T08:42:00.000+05:00

This is a small token on appreciation for all the friends I had,

I have and I have yet to meet...

I'm happy for the fact that you were a part of my life,

making it sweet.

And I'm glad you are in my life

for it can never be better.

Picture...

2007-04-25T11:08:00.000+05:00

Living my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sun shine in three damn days
Been fueling up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while
I'm lying next to her

I called you last night at the hotel
Everyone knows but that wont tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right
I've been waiting on you for a long time
Fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while
I'm lying next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same o'l same how you been
Since you been gone my worlds been dark and gray
You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were coming home to stay
I was head of the church
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this was

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home

I just called to say I love you

Come back home

Performed by Skid Row feat. Sheryl Crow

This song is dedicated to ...

A day of my life...

2007-04-20T14:18:00.000+05:00

T'was a serene day, with gentle clouds rolling by lazily,
The wind was barely felt on my face yet it was soothing,
The sound of the sea water brushing past was full of tranquility
Lost in my own world
While the ferry sailed towards its destination.
Floating between my dream world and the real world
I heard a whisper...

It didnt occur real to me so I ignored it
And as I settled myself comfortably
I felt someone smile at me
And I heard the words, "good morning"
I slowly shifted my glance
Everyone in the ferry seemed to be either
Half sleeping and half trying to wake up...

There was nothing unusual,
No one I knew even...
As I moved my eyes towards the window
I finally saw him
Looking at me and smiling down on me
His brilliance over everything
Blushed for not realising it was him all along
I bid him good morning in return

And we had a sweet time
Catching up on lost times
Times I forgot he was there
Even when he was infront of me
Times I missed him for not bieng around
Times when we had so much fun
Enjoying a one on one
Just the two of us...

The Book of Love...

2007-04-14T10:10:00.000+05:00

The book of love is long and boring

No one can lift the damn thing

It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing

But I

I love it when you read to me

And you

You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it

In fact that's where music comes from

Some of it is just transcendental

Some of it is just really dumb

But I

I love it when you sing to me

And you

You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring

And written very long ago

It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes

And things we're all too young to know

But I

I love it when you give me things

And you

You ought to give me wedding rings

.............

* The Book of Love - Peter Gabriel /
OST Shall we dance

Breathe...

2007-04-11T15:57:00.000+05:00

Time flies by

Moments disappear

before the eyes

could adjust to the blinding light

How far long till this eon pass...
As my memory fades
Holding on to bits and pieces

With the blink of an eye
A second passes by,
The days follow
and so on life goes

How I yearn
For the time to stand still
Till I get my act together
Till I breathe once more
Till I die once again...

Silent Love...

2007-04-05T08:08:00.000+05:00

There are so many words

Yet there are no words

For when I look into your eyes

No words need to be spoken

And the warmth of your smile

Is a statement in itself

And how could I ever try to explain

The trembling in my body

When I touch your face

There are no words to explain an emotion

So I open to you my mind

That you might walk

Among my Dreams and Memories

Then… and only then

You might understand my silence....

Shattered Heart...

2007-04-05T06:42:00.000+05:00

Whether it was Chance
Or that thing called Fate

That brought you to me
I really can’t say
And I don’t believe
It really matters

For I have been lucky enough
To have the opportunity to hold you
Not just in my arms
But also in my Heart

And should the Winds of Time
Blow hard enough
To take you from my arms
You can rest assured
They will never

Take you from my Heart

Pebbles of Time

2007-04-04T06:37:00.001+05:00

As the moon floated across the sky
And twinkled in the ripples in the lake

I sat silently beside you

And tossed pebbles into the water

From time to time you would squeeze my hand

And rest your head on my shoulder

There was no radio

No television

No pennies for your thoughts

Funny how quickly the hours passed
And how much closer I felt to you
Maybe more often
We should sit down together
And have a good, long 'Silence'

You and I

2007-04-04T06:25:00.000+05:00

Look towards the sun as it rises
The glistening rays of its warmth flow over me

As your love flows into me and fills my soul
Reflect on the horizon far beyond at dusk

The moon reflecting its glorious glow to the seas below
Casting new light to the unimaginable depths of the sea

A sea so deep, no man could ever know all that it owns

All of the treasures that it cradles amidst the storms

That is how my love is for you

And shall remain forever more, with untold treasures
Held secretly by you and I alone

The right path...

2007-04-03T00:15:00.000+05:00

Am old Muslim lived on a farm with his young grandson. Each morning he wakes up early and sits at the kitchen table and reads the Holy Qu'ran.
His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Qu'ran just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading Qu'ran do?'

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied," Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."

The boy did as he was told but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said,"You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home.

Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said,"I don't want a bucket of water: I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went outside to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into the river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was empty again. Out of breath again he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!"

"So you think it is useless?" The old man said,"Look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time he realised that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

"Son, that's what happens when you read the Holy Qu'ran. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Almighty Allah on our lives."

"The one who guides to good will be rewarded equally"

Thoughts...

2007-04-02T18:51:00.000+05:00

My Immortal

2007-03-27T22:26:00.000+05:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along...

Savior...

2007-03-26T20:53:00.000+05:00

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary night
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos whose to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well for me its waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place

It's little that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends

I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

Numbers vs Questions

2007-03-15T05:48:00.000+05:00

What is it?
Just a number, or is it more than that?
What lies hidden behind it?
Does it show or prove anything?
All these question are full of complications,
Yet to be overcome in the time of my life.

What have I accomplished?
Have I learnt anything at all?
Time is a luxury no one has
And yet I took it that way,
Now here I am
Stuck in the middle of nowhere?
Which way should I chose?

Where am I to go now?
Should I stay here,
With a glum look
Or gazing across the horizon
With a hope for a brighter day
Expecting the unexpected?
That will not be fruitful in the long run
Is the grass ever green on the other side?

Where is the faith?
Did I lose it on my way?
And here I thought I had it...
Is it still in me?
The courage to stand my ground?
The will power of my brain over my heart,
ever quivering and wavering,
Yet its steady, with a slow rythm
Making me who I am..

Can I go back?
To change it all,
now thats a question?
Impossible as it may seem
The need is overcoming the wanting to...

Need I stop or go on?
Why should I stop,
Life is all about moving on
We stop somewhere in between
To smell the flowers
To enjoy the scenery
Takes the breath away
Just to be one with nature
Is it worth it?

Drops of jupiter
forever fall inside me
Is it a mystery?
The river I am in
Is it knee deep?
Or am I drowning?
Would anyone help me?
...silence...

Am I alone in this quest for life?
How long will it take?
Am I halfway there yet?
Or is this the beginning?
God knows!
Is the destination
Or the walk of life to look forward to?

Does the moon hang like a cruel portrait?
Does the sun shine down on me?
Everyone dies trying to master the art of life
Some succeed, some give up halfway,
Some just dont bother about it.
Everyone makes mistakes
Some accept it and some people
Dont want to see any wrong in them.

I see the truth,
I know theres wrong in me,
How can I find it?
Is acceptance the key?
Have I mistaken
The good for the bad?

I seek the blessing of the one above
To guide me through it all
Through Rain or shine
I will find a way
For I have faith,
Come what may!

Heal the world

2007-03-15T02:28:00.000+05:00

Please check the link below

http://www.avaaz.org/en/climate_action_germany/tf.php

Ghost Rider

2007-02-28T15:54:00.002+05:00

"I'm speaking to the fire element within me, give me control over the possessing spirit"....

A movie worth seeing by anyone who loves Marvel Comics. (I rather see it at a Cinema, worth a try)

" O' people! An old story ends just so
Who bids them tell it of me, though?

Here at your feet a lover lies,
To loose the bondage of these memories"....

Donno Why I didnt post it...must have been possessed or something....

The Crazy and the Laughy

2007-02-19T06:55:00.000+05:00

hehehhehehe....Guess what world, I am gonna be care free for today and write a blog about today only....
It started all with a bunch of laughs and still its going great....hehehehhehheee...with part drama in between...
At the moment listening to some classic hit songs played by my gal friend (aka DJ Kampi), drumming away the day into the morning.
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately...the song sure suits my mood...keep playing those songs babes...
I haven't laughed this much this year I'm sure of it....just worried a notch about how the laughter would eventually lead to tears....but hey, as one of my friends advised me yesterday, live today as it is the last....and enjoy every moment and laugh as much as you can, be happy and let the world take you away into your dreams...time stops for no one!
Oh ya, Hurricane by Bob Dylan....woo hoo
The champion of the world, cool tune with the violins guys....hehehehehehe
and now its the 70's show theme, hello Wisconsin....wherever it is.....probably miles away technically, but you can imagine it just outside your house....ok I accept it, I'm way hyper...
Why I am hyper....I haven't slept and the rising sun and the good time I shared with my best of gals is all I could ask for....what more do I want.....
Oceans apart, day after day....
I hear a voice on my mind but it doesn't stop the pain
I see you next to never
How can we stay forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
O' how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you.....

The moments we live today count the most for who is sure when our death will arrive....

hehhehehehhe, okies, no sentimentality allowed now,

Its SOAD with Radio/Video.....hehehhehehheheee
Hey man look at me rocking out I'm on the radio
With Dannneeee and LLiiisssaaaaa....aaaaa.

come on people lets gets this party started...the day is young, pick up your voice and sing your heart out like no ones listening, dance like no ones watching, oh heck, who cares if anyones watching or listening, its you being you......pppaaarrrtttyyy

Oh yeah, Its Soil.... what a herrible piece of music...herrible is good
DON'T YOU REALISE EVIL LIVES IN THE ?*?*?*?*?*?*? SKIN
(no filth allowed too...tee hee)

Chop suey....(hey am I bringing a music programme to you all...well, enjoy then)
guitar smashing.....going for it
Why have you forsaken me
In your eyes, in your thoughts, in you heart
trust in my
self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die

Ok, this is it guys and gals, the end of the show
I cant keep up with the flow of music anymore....
lets hear it one more time
Oh Vicky I LOVE YOU....hahhahahahahhahahah......(le sigh, le sob...hehehhehehehhe)
(there was a Hindi mix for the Hindi dudes and dudettes)
One more song...to keep all of you happy and delighted
Pehla Nasha...this song goes out to all of you....I mean it...
Just feel the breeze take you away...Oh man, I'm writing again....shit the phone rang....hahahhahaha...I missed my wake up call....damn

Guileless Masquerade

2007-02-13T10:10:00.000+05:00

Is it possible to decide between what’s real and fake?

To be precise, some people have an aptitude to keep their trails free of bread crumbs to follow.

During our existence on the Earth, we meet different kinds of people with countless personalities and attitudes. Some people are in the category "a closed book" but not forever, believe me, as the old saying goes “Never judge a book by its cover”, even the hard covered books can be dealt with in time, takes a bit of endurance and manipulation. On the other hand, some people are "an open book", making it easy for anyone to understand them. As we get to know them, they become transparent and predictable.

Coming back to the point of the guileless masquerade, how many of you out there wear a mask before you begin your day or at the end of the day? I'm sure there are plenty...

Some people are forced to suppress their emotions and the best way to hide them is to wear a mask. Let me elaborate of the word forced. Lets take a day of our lives, for instance, you wake up all gloomy and miserable, tired from living your life the way as it is, deprived of sleep and hope is down the drain. But having a closed book personality you wouldn't want the world to see the look on your face and read it out loud. The shame and the agony would strip you to the bones before you could gasp. And not to forget, you wouldn't want to drown in the questions pored from your close ones or anyone for that matter. And being the simple, kind and gentle creature you are, you can’t have a poster hanging on your head saying "Back off, you're invading my privacy", or shout out "Stop attacking me" or have a time out sign hanging on your neck...Having a breach in your solitude is the least you expect.

What’s the solution??? Ofcourse cover it all up with a mask! Wash away the sorrowfulness, powder up your ego, paste a smile to dazzle the world and skip down the open road while humming a song similar to “you're my sunshine”.

Now you must be wondering how people survive with all this anxiety they have to put up with. Don't worry much on that, they are surviving the cruel world with tactics that aren't up our sleeves, then again maybe not. There are so many ways for stress release and one way is to share it with your closest friend who will patiently sort it out with you since he/she would be quite updated with what’s been bugging you. But sometimes, the angel may be out of reach for various reasons, and then what do we do?

Then there’s always letting it out on yourself, mind it, sometimes the scene turns gruesome since you end up stabbing your heart and damaging your mind in the process, it ain't a pretty picture. And if you try to hold in the pressure too long, whoa there, you don't want a volcano eruption to take place or drowning in your own tears isn't going to help either.

Another way is to listen to some music and have a heart to heart with you and yourself. Well, does'nt it help? Take a break and have a Kit Kat....hehehehe. Fine, lets get serious here, time out is like having your own quality time with yourself, have a strategy for the next assault, build up your confidence and face the dilemma, not run from it. A Good idea isn’t it?

Think about it

And if people cant handle your decision; whether to share your feelings with them or not, well, they better learn to respect you and your actions, after all this is life, you can’t have it all....were talking about billions of peoples want and needs here....and you are one human being! Just one single brain in you and one little heart....how much pressure can they take?

So, what shall we do about these masks?

I for one, respect them. I would give them the space and time they need. There are moments in our life when each one of us has to wear the mask in order to make others happy. There’s no need to see frowns on others; it softens up my heart to see people smile and laugh. If we feel like our insides are rotting away in despair, why shall others feel the same, its excruciatingly painful to you, so you can imagine that on others?

May the light of hope

And the tranquility of love

Guide you down the road

Filled with mysteries yet to unfold

The masks we wear

Are of beauty and peace

Helping us lead a sparkling life
With undying passion
Like a shining star
Forever glowing in our hearts.

A sight for sore eyes!

2007-02-07T15:07:00.000+05:00

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Maldives

I'm sure you would enjoy reading this...
cheers

Yesterday, Today or Tomorrow

2007-02-03T02:53:00.000+05:00

" Which would you pick, if any, from yesterday, today and tomorrow?"

I came across the above question recently and I thought I'll share my view with you all.

If is not real in our everyday lives, yet its a quite frequent word used by everyone. Like for instance take this, "What if i studied harder, would I have made it for a scholarship?" or " What if I said no, would he/she still be there in my life?"

If's cant change anything nor turn back time but we all consider it once or twice or more in our lifetime. Its not as bad as you think to say if, like what if i could fly, isn't that a happy little thought? sure is. Just think of all the wonders you could create.

With If's you can consider many possibilities and finally chose the best resolution.

Coming back to the question, if I could chose from yesterday, today or tomorrow, I would chose yesterday. Its not that I want to change my actions or correct it, It was the colour that solved the problem. You must be thinking whats colour got to do with yesterday???

Before explaining myself, lets ponder on today, some people may chose today since they are happy the way things are going in there life. Well, good for them.

How about tomorrow, who would pick that? Believe me when i say this, there are people who cant wait for tomorrow to come, to achieve something that they've been longing for, to see what happens next? Curious aren't we all...

Ofcourse theres the answer, Non, I wont pick any for I don't care on If's. hehehehe, whats the fun in life without if's.

At last, let me explain my answer, Its just a flower!!!

Yesterday today and tomorrow's flowers ( Brunfelsia pauciflora ) are purple when they first bloom. Then as time passes by, they fade through a sequence of blues and lavenders until they are pure white.

" Wisdom begins with wonder"

Dream Castles of Glass

2007-02-02T02:49:00.000+05:00

We build them everyday, while sleeping or awake, with pleasure or against our wills, with unconditional love and the pillars withholding them stronger than any bond. The walls are a hue of rainbow, glistening with delight. The gardens outside are filled with innumerable flowers be that roses to orchids, dandelions to tulips and so on. The sky is cloudless on some days with the sun smiling, filling your heart with glee. On the other hand, it could be sprinkled with cool rain drops and the fauna are gleaming in the rain; you just cant resist the feeling of dancing in the rain. The whole place is filled with a misty yet familiar fragrance which enlightens anyone there. There are waterfalls with rivers meandering through the valley. The birds are singing in the trees, there are butterflies everywhere and there behold, a unicorn or two. Its a sight for sore eyes, takes thy breath away with a glance.

But it all can come shattering down in a moment, just like that, without a sound. The pillars break in two as if the bond never existed. The walls come crumbling down, the rainbow colours melt into a shade of grey and fade into black. The flowers whither and look solemn, the air is gloomy with dead silence filling every corner. The sky is filled with ominous looking clouds. Its hot and bit a bit humid. The river is dried up, not even a trickle of water in sight. Where did the butterflies go? Its a horrid scene, not even a sign of the unicorns.

This is happening as we speak, someone out there is building these castles of glass and at the same time, someones castle just fell apart. There are a number of ways we can describe them, doesn't have to fit mine. It can be more beautiful and spectacular and it can stay without falling apart.

Even if the dream castles shatter, you don't have to give up, you can build them again, without the fear of having it fall apart. If we don't tread the unknown we will never know what is in store for us. I believe there are castles still standing, never fading with the sands of time. The will power of never letting go holds them together. There is no power that can pass the barrier. It may waver or swing from side to side for awhile, but it doesn't fall apart, it grows stronger with every wave of destruction towards it. The only word which stands through it all is love, could be towards a family member, a special someone, a friend or anyone out there.

I'm sure on my Dream Castles of Glass, are you?

The Premier of Dhathuge Rihun!!!

2007-02-01T02:43:00.000+05:00

Well, Its out ladies and gents, the moment you've all been waiting for...
As it seems, the movie wasn't what I expected it to be,
At first, I was afraid: I was petrified...
But when the movie ended, it was a blessing.
It was partly ticklish, cool and then came the isolated mucus showers. All in all it was worth it.
All the way clean, shining with glamour :D
Thank you God.

Brought to you by Colgate, for teeth so healthy they shine